It’s no secret that men are visual creatures and are physically attracted to beautiful women, but you don’t have to be a supermodel to be beautiful on the inside and out.
Beauty is one of those controversial things many women want to ignore. They want a man to love them for who they are. Yet when we let ourselves become frumpy and don’t take pride in our appearance, what kind of image are we portraying?
Last year, as I was just getting out of a long term relationship, my self esteem had just taken a beating. Over the last few months of my relationship, I had let myself go. I was about 20 pounds overweight, didn’t take time to do my hair or put on make up, and wore whatever I found comfortable at the time. In short, my external appearance was mirroring how I felt inside – unattractive and unloved.
When I finally felt ready to date again, I took a long, hard look at myself. If I didn’t feel I was attractive, why would the men I wanted to attract?
That realization caused me to really think about how I wanted to present myself. Sure, inner beauty is what sustains a relationship over the long term, but as virtually every research study shows, both men and women are attracted to appearances first. You never get a second chance to make a first impression.
What Is Beauty?
The media feeds us images daily of what beauty “should” look like. You can’t turn on the TV, watch a movie, or surf the Internet without coming across news on how the latest celebrity gained a few pounds, dressed inappropriately, or did something outrageous.
Often, like us, these celebrities don’t lead the perfect, glamorous lives we imagine, but struggle with their own demons, just as we do. When we see that they aren’t as perfect as we think they should be, it’s easy to criticize. Yet how often do we analyze ourselves and how others see us?
When we let ourselves go, we are really telling the world that we don’t take pride in our appearance. Our outer world is a reflection of our inner world. Think about it – how many people want to lose weight and make themselves as attractive as possible when they have a major event to attend, like a wedding or reunion?
During those events, we want others to see us in the best light possible. If we attend a high school or college reunion, we want to present ourselves as successful. We don’t want them to think we are down on our luck, life hasn’t worked out the way we wanted, and our best years are over.
You don’t have to be stick thin or in perfect condition to be beautiful. Virtually anyone can look attractive if they watch their diet, maintain hygiene and wear flattering clothing that suits their body type.
Beauty Starts From Within
How do you see yourself? If your inner world is in turmoil, you will project that in your appearance. Start by learning to love yourself. Find your passions and learn what excites you. Often, all you need is a bit of enthusiasm and positive energy from within and you will radiate beauty in your interactions.
When you are happy with yourself, when you can look in the mirror and accept yourself for who you are, you are on the right track. Beautiful people empower themselves with an active lifestyle and keep their minds active. They are confident in their opinions and will embrace other perspectives and worldviews with an open mind.
They also strive to be their best selves. Beauty is holistic – meaning to truly be beautiful, you need to project beauty in mind, body and soul. You can be the most attractive person in the room physically, but if you have a mean-spirited nature, you suddenly become incredibly ugly to people. At the same time, the girl next door who is average in looks might win over men with her big heart and generous nature. Who are you at your best?
Cultivate Outer and Inner Beauty
To be your best self, start by uncovering your passions, strengths, and talents. What do you love doing? Expand on that. Here are a few areas to think about when trying to attract a boyfriend.
- Intelligence – Contrary to what you might think, most men won’t go for the “dumb blond” stereotype for a long term relationship. Sure, that will get their attention, but if they can’t hold a conversation, men will soon become disinterested. Build up your knowledge about history, culture, and current events by reading books, blogs, and news outlets.
- Attitude – How do you view the world? Are you a glass is “half full” or “half empty” kind of woman? Start cultivating an attitude of curiosity, positivity, and generosity rather than always seeing what’s wrong with a situation. Men want to be around women who are happy and confident rather than those who always nag and complain.
- Behavior – How do you react to situations? You can’t control other people or the world around you, but you have 100% control over how you react to things. Do you accept things gracefully or do you hold a life-long grudge against anyone you perceive did you wrong? Take things in stride and be careful not to blow things out of proportion.
- Hygiene – It should go without saying that men like women who keep themselves clean and smelling nice.
- Appearance – How do you present yourself? What is your personal style? Men won’t start dating someone they don’t find physically attractive, so make sure you exercise regularly, eat healthy, groom yourself and wear fitted clothing. Nothing says “stay away” like a scowling, frumpy woman in a tracksuit.
- Engage – The best conversationalists do most of the listening in a conversation. They will often listen intently, repeat back what the person has just said, and ask additional questions about that subject. Stop chattering endlessly and start engaging in dialog.
- Exude sexiness – The best way to attract a guy is to think and feel sexy. This doesn’t mean wear the skimpiest outfit you have. Rather, be confident that you are a great catch and play up your feminine side. Men love women because they are women, so make sure you flaunt your feminine side.
You don’t need creams or cosmetic surgery to be beautiful. Beauty starts with attitude. Be confident and flaunt your femininity. If you love yourself, you will soon find men are magnetically drawn to you.